she’s back in the atmosphere with drops of jupiter in her hair
IT’S YA BIRTHDAY IT’S YA BIRTHDAY BAD BITCH CONTEST YOU IN FIRST PLACE
"Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark."
N’tima (via artistsuffer)
oh shit definitely don’t read your journal from senior year
I had this huge hangup for this kid who at the time Totally Fucked Up Everything but now we’re cool because I couldn’t stay mad at him
in mah head I c u all over meee
How Wonderful Life Is Now You’re In The World
I’m sorry I made out with your stupid dumb face but at one point in my life I thought you were cute and our faces just kind of collided like that
Birthdays are like a really solid reminder that everyone was born and has a mom who loves them and thinks they should dress better
I’ll think of you while I’m trying on Lilly Pulitzer skirts in the Nordstrom dressing room because I was born and you were born and then 20-odd years later we ended up together in a bathroom
My resolution for 20 is to start looking at the positives in people, including myself.
Literally none of this makes any cohesive sense but fuck you it’s my birthday and I’ll make sense when I feel like it
IT’S MY BIRTHDAY SOMEONE LOVE ME
this, too, shall pass
a reflection on being 19. none of this is going to make sense.
- may 2012: super in unrequited-love with twiggy blonde kid, waitressing, reading, biking, bored as shit.
- june 2012: I think this is when I read slaughterhouse-five. I also went to jersey.
- july 2012: depressed all the time. clipboard job. crying on the T. crying at home. crying at work. tutoring. car accident. the olympics.
- august 2012: still depressed. fighting with my family. waiting for summer to be over. making dumb mistakes. getting bug bites. breaking hearts (including my own). having the house to myself. more bug bites. i will walk down to the ends with you if you will come all the way down with me
- september 2012: we’re back. bad people and a lot more good people. babies. inner turmoil. late night walks barefoot around lower. things start to fall apart.
- october 2012: things seem to repair but then seriously, seriously fall apart. trying to be normal but crying a lot. making plans. failing miserably. halloween.
- november 2012: enter southern boy. confusion, red hair paint, and a lot of sex. fleabeezy. bloggin’ and hopin’ and dreamin’. ND. t-gives.
- december 2012: shovelhead show (props for not crying). sentimental moments with twiggy blonde kid interrupted by drunk girl with french fries. enter the rock. sweaters for christmas. yelling at family. someone dies in the end.
- january 2013: depressed. depressed. depressed. making cakes.
- february 2013: not much happened i was married to southern boy it snowed a fuckton we went on a date BC won the beanpot relay for life the pope resigned who gives a shiiit
- march 2013: spring breakers. new york in the snow. st. pat’s without incidence. fighting with southern boy. fanny packs. things fall apart.
- april 2013: going abso-fucking-lutely insane. boobs. jews. champagne. shows. the marathon. california dreamin’. crying everywhere, but actually this time. wom. insane, but really really lucky, kind of. in a very weird emotional place
- may 2013: macklemore. finals. moving out. summer is boring. the realization that a lot has changed.
god this year was so rough
also I wrote this REALLY FUCKING DUMB love letter that was supposed to have a mix CD that went with it and every so often a phrase in the letter would be one of the song titles so you’d have to play the CD to figure out what the song was OH MY GOD I WAS SO DUMB BUT SO IN LOVE WITH YOU
don’t ever read your freshman year journal
I wrote a lot of letters in Italian because it helped me say what I needed to say in plain terms
“I think I’m in love with this detestable saint… and I don’t know how to tell him”
“I want to sit in your lap and wear your hat and after everything I want to go home with you”
“I think maybe I spend to much time with them—I feel like I never see my roommates—but I love them and I think I can trust in them”
“I would rather jump off a bridge or eat spiders than be alone with him. Ok maybe I wouldn’t eat spiders but you get the point”
also, so many good words that I forgot I knew:
paura di morire
AND I TOLD YOU TO BE PATIENT AND I TOLD YOU TO BE FINE
you’re so beyond gone it makes me sad